Feeling the Lesson
June 21, 2014 § 9 Comments
Foolishness and vanity took me there.
Stuck on a steep rock face. Looking down at a sheer drop of lethal dimensions. Looking up at thirty feet of brittle sandstone that came off in my hands in clumps at any serious pressure.
No way up, no way down.
I lost it. Molten anger. Screaming at myself- what the fuck where you thinking? Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Perched there, I settled and took a breath. I looked out at the stunning vistas before me, the mountains in the distance. Breathing, waiting.
Looking over my right shoulder, I saw something familiar. Nothing special, just a bush. But a green, living thing amidst the rock and rubble. Perched, like me, but different.
And I just knew. Twisting my body to the right, I held that bush to my chest and as I did, the rubbly ground beneath my feet slid away. And that rooted living thing held me.
Looking up, I saw the other bushes scattered amidst the rubble field. Using them as anchors for my feet and my hands, I scrambled my way up through that rubble field back to the rock outcropping above and walked the trail home.
The Tao teaches us that “the soft overcomes the hard.” Hard rock, soft plant. That day, on that rock face, I felt the lesson in my body.
Saved by Nature’s grace and a regained posture of openness.
Feeling a gratitude beyond words.
So beautiful and so true….. I have also been right where you are speaking of. Isn’t it amazing how once we slow down and look; we see the beauty all around us. 🙂
All I can say is, “Wow.”
“I lost it. Molten anger. Screaming at myself- what the fuck where you thinking? Fuck, fuck, fuck.” This is sharp. That’s what remorse feels like. I have also felt it, that knife against your throat, so many times.
What a beautifully edgy piece of work this is. Wonderful, Tom, as always.
Natalie
Body, mind, and soul. Feeling them all at once. That is the key. Or at least one of them anyway.
Cuss! This gripped me! And I’m glad to read you gripped on to such softness.
The lesson truly appropriated feels indeed – as you say – in the body…
Best thoughts to you Tom
Thanks, Julien.
More feeling these days, less in my head.
Tom
Wonderful writing. Captivated me right away
Whew!