When the Time is Right

Early in my career, I held a teaching fellowship at the Stanford Law School.  One of my students gave me as a parting gift a copy of Shunryu Suzuki’s book, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.  I was touched by the gesture but not engaged by the book.  I recall thinking mostly that the “Zen book” looked cool sitting on my bookshelf.

After Stanford, I headed east, jumped into the corporate lawyering world, and lived anything but a Zen life. A lot of time spent spent feeling frantic, unhappy, hollow and unfulfilled.  Through those difficult times, as the decades rolled past, Suzuki’s book patiently tagged along on my bookshelf- never read, but never left behind.

Five or six years ago, I picked up the book again.  This time I read it, really read it, again and again. I discovered the Tao te Ching.  I began working with a therapist.  I sought to feel and hold a strong sense of self.  I began to live in a more present and centered way. I changed.

I sometimes wonder why it took so long.  All that time- most of my life- I had right at my fingertips the text that would start me on the path to strength and peace.  Why didn’t I pick it up sooner?   So many years lost, I would think.

But that way of thinking is all wrong.  What I did or didn’t do before is gone now.  And that book, that amazing text, those redemptive teachings, would have meant nothing to me until I was ready.  I wasn’t ready before.  I am now.

Understanding and redemption come when the time is right.   Don’t regret what may feel like their tardy arrival.  Rejoice in the fact that they are here.  Right here, right now.